But I wasn’t. I had zero confidence. Hell, I barely looked up from the ground when I walked. What the hell was there for me to see? I was a boy pretending to be a man and I was failing at it. Jim was big, and he was full of liquid courage. Knowing him as I do, if I’d had just told him to go away, he would have listened. Would it have changed anything? I ask myself that same question thousands of times.