Fighting the ‘shame’ of mental illness.

Ashamed. That’s how I felt. I couldn’t make it in this world. I wasn’t mentally strong enough to handle the same existence that everyone else was easily navigating. I was too sensitive. I couldn’t watch the news without becoming depressed. I couldn’t ride the bus, and see impoverished families without starting to weep. I had some real issues. I was a talented artist but the only praise I ever got was from the orderlies and the other ‘patients’. I didn’t have a phone, phone book, or connections. I was just a hulk of wasted talent and misopportunity. I suppose that’s why I tried to take my own life a few times. This was right as the internet started changing everything. Before we all knew what was out there. When most of us were still living under the old assumptions. I didn’t know autobio comics existed. Superheroes, Heavy Metal, MAD, Cracked, Epic, and the Sunday funnies. that’s what I knew. And to even think about competing in the cartoon marketplace without art school or college…well, it just wasn’t in the cards for me. I was truly a failure. Who the fuck can’t even make it through a single year without ‘going crazy’. It was me, and I was ashamed.


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