They say you need three things to grow a tree. Water, sunshine, and time. There is an adage that goes “Those that plant fig trees don’t get to enjoy the figs.” That’s because it takes a long time for the tree to bear fruit. Time can grow and heal. But it can also destroy. Time is the enemy of all things in the end, but maybe it’s like cheese. Maybe it hits the the hardest or becomes the richest just before it turns green. Maybe. I guess it depends on how you look at time. Is it that which sucks the life out of you? Or is it the sandpaper, smoothing out the rough edges until you fit comfortably in the hand of life? Maybe you feel you like only been given so much and you need to make the most out of what little time you have left. That’s kind of how I feel.
I can’t sleep at night because the pain in my leg doesn’t let me lay on my left side for too long and I have to roll over. But then I lay on my left kidney, which seems to be the worst of the two, and that doesn’t last very long. Same with my back. Ever since I had a terribly invasive surgery for kidney stones in 2013, I haven’t been the same. I will spare you the details, but I urinate around 30-40 times a day depending. And I still have kidneys full of gravel. I take a handful of heart pills everyday, twice a day, to keep the ticker going, which has been increased lately. Now, I’m not whining, I’m just giving you some background to my mental condition. I’m either strung out or tired. But I have given myself a third option. I have decided to be driven. To use this time, which could very well be my last, to work as hard as possible to enrich not only the culture, but the lives of my friends and family. I tried to illustrate my cold mornings in the basement with this comic here. It will be included in “Fortune Favors the Damned”.